It's strange my husband choose to write about commitment in his first post, because it's been on my mind also. After we signed the commitment to write in this blog once a week I at once thought of all the mental commitments, promises or resolutions I make, yet don't follow through on. I tend to dream about all the new things I want to learn, or old things I'd like to remember how to do again. I begin new adventures in crocheting, sewing, learning the accordion, only to lose steam and let the instruments sit silent for months at a time. Then, I'll look at the unfinished amigurimi doll or the inch-thick dust on my flute and feel guilty. "I'm sorry I've neglected you for so long," I say, "I promise, I won't do this again. I won't let a month pass by before I pick you up and play with you". I then, one month, two, three will pass before I feel I have the motivation to play, to sew, to create. I feel this happening again with the new (new to us) behomouth of a piano sitting in our living room. I played piano for seven or eight years growing up. I haven't played a real piece since I graduated high school. I printed off some sheet music yesterday and began playing the instrument I loved and cherished in my earlier years. Some things came back to me, others long forgotten and requiring a refresher course. I made a commitment to myself to play at least 3 times a week. With a busy busy toddler and a house to manage, I believe this is a realistic goal. However, I have a feeling the keys will soon begin to collect dust and the piano will be nothing more than furniture in our house. I don't want this to happen, but I know myself.
I've identified one underlying reason for this neglect for all things I begin to learn or create. I believe the reason is fear. I'm afraid that I won't be able to learn how to play the accordian. I'm afraid that the amigurumi bunny will look more like an octopus than a bunny. I'm afraid I will never be the talented pianist I once was. I'm afraid to write about my fears, thoughts and more. But here I am, along with my husband, making a commitment to write once a week in this blog. I will do my best.
Is there such a thing as virtual dust?