Friday, January 9, 2009

Commitment II

It's strange my husband choose to write about commitment in his first post, because it's been on my mind also. After we signed the commitment to write in this blog once a week I at once thought of all the mental commitments, promises or resolutions I make, yet don't follow through on. I tend to dream about all the new things I want to learn, or old things I'd like to remember how to do again. I begin new adventures in crocheting, sewing, learning the accordion, only to lose steam and let the instruments sit silent for months at a time. Then, I'll look at the unfinished amigurimi doll or the inch-thick dust on my flute and feel guilty. "I'm sorry I've neglected you for so long," I say, "I promise, I won't do this again. I won't let a month pass by before I pick you up and play with you". I then, one month, two, three will pass before I feel I have the motivation to play, to sew, to create. I feel this happening again with the new (new to us) behomouth of a piano sitting in our living room. I played piano for seven or eight years growing up. I haven't played a real piece since I graduated high school. I printed off some sheet music yesterday and began playing the instrument I loved and cherished in my earlier years. Some things came back to me, others long forgotten and requiring a refresher course. I made a commitment to myself to play at least 3 times a week. With a busy busy toddler and a house to manage, I believe this is a realistic goal. However, I have a feeling the keys will soon begin to collect dust and the piano will be nothing more than furniture in our house. I don't want this to happen, but I know myself.

I've identified one underlying reason for this neglect for all things I begin to learn or create. I believe the reason is fear. I'm afraid that I won't be able to learn how to play the accordian. I'm afraid that the amigurumi bunny will look more like an octopus than a bunny. I'm afraid I will never be the talented pianist I once was. I'm afraid to write about my fears, thoughts and more. But here I am, along with my husband, making a commitment to write once a week in this blog. I will do my best.

Is there such a thing as virtual dust?


  1. You two are beautiful thinkers and writers. I love and look up to both of you.
    This blog? This is a good thing.

  2. Welcome to the blogging world, friend. I appreciate your being in my city and love it when our paths cross. I think you are going to create beautiful reflective moments for people here!